Handle The Scandal: Can You Get (and Stay) With A Guy Who’s Not Your Type?
Dear Erika,
my boyfriend makes me super happy but when i think about “us” it makes me feel really weird because he doesn’t seem my type at all … i really believe i like him & everyone says follow your heart, how am i suppose to do that when i can’t tell what my heart wants ? My whole family likes him & they believe he’s the best guy for me but how do i really know ?
I totally feel you. When I look back at the random collection of guys I’ve been with, each of them had qualities that totally didn’t sync up with my own. One listened to a type of music I found and *still* find revolting. Another didn’t recycle. (I mean come on! How hard is it to recycle?? What kind of numbskull doesn’t recycle??) Another had totally opposite political leanings that leaned way WAY far away from me and mine. When I thought about these things, it weirded me out. (How could I be kissing the political enemy?)
But when I didn’t sweat these little differences and just lived out the day to day, kickage was awesome. No matter what the difference, each dude had the same core qualities that I love in a guy–a deliciously dark sense of humor yet friendly disposition, a respect for me, his friends and people in general, and lots of cute (you *can’t* forget the cuteness!!)
If you and your family like this dude, it’s probably because he’s a good guy. It sounds like your heart *does* know what it wants–the guy that’s already making you happy. It’s your *head* that’s got you in a freak-out. Don’t let your head get you twisted. Over thinking things can really mess stuff up.
Instead, go with your heart–the differences between the two of you could make for the most dynamic and fun part of your relationship. (Who knows, maybe you’ll start to get into his wacky world of ping pong yourself.)
Even better, learning to accept other peoples differences and finding a way to love those peeps, differences and all, is a HUGE asset to have in life; It’s a characteristic that will help you down the road when it comes to that boss with questionable fashion sense or a friend who chews with her mouth open.
